69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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