its not stalking. its research.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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