What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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