how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
