Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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