You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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