Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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