I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
