He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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