Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
