My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
