I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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