"it" just moved
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
did you just send me my own nude
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
