i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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