Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if only i could text you this smell
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
