the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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