well I can't set my house on fire every night
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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