i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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