I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
