Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
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Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
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I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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