So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
