I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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