I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
