So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
