I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
