I'm jealous of your bromance
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
