I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
There's even glitter on my cock...
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