Reggie can tackle my bush.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
