You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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