i jhust puked up my retainher.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize