It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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