Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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