I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
