The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
