How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
