Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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