# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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