Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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