it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize