This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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