And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
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I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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