Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
