there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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