my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
