and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
