with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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