Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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