And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
