Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
