I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize