Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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