Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
