Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
