you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
