theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
