Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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