Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
