I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
